all the things.

We've been here eight months.

EIGHT.

EIGHT MONTHS.

And almost that long since I wrote a blog post. So here's a quick update on the Mitchums, in no particular order of importance:

• I own a Houston Astros hat now. Does that make me officially Texan?
• Travis has perfected his own homemade BBQ sauce.
• We just discovered "The IT Crowd" show on Netflix. Where on earth have we been?? So funny.
• I've stepped into the role of coach for our worship team members as we pursue a more unified sound, style and atmosphere. Coaching is a passion that started growing in me several years ago, and I am THRILLED to help the leadership achieve their vision for engaging the congregation in spirit-and-truth worship.
• I'm re-reading some Jane Austen works. I just finished "Sense & Sensibility" (my favorite), and I'm now into "Persuasion" (wait...maybe that one's my favorite). After finishing "These Is My Words," there was nothing that seemed even remotely worth reading...but dear Jane never lets me down.
• I'm also reading a fantastic book on Abraham Lincoln called "Team of Rivals." I am seriously considering writing the author after I finish to thank her for this comprehensive work that has solidified my forever crush on Lincoln. What a model of humble leadership and wisdom! I don't think there was another man on the planet that could have navigated the tumultuous waters of his day. And yes, I am from the South, but I will gladly concede that the North won. I ain't bitter - I'm grateful.
• I'm also listening to audio books, since I'm in the car for about 90 minutes every day. World War I murder mysteries mostly. Love me some period pieces. If it's a story that's not set in today's time, I'm there.
• Almost every weekend involves some kind of animal encounter for us - sometimes planned, sometimes completely unexpected. Lately, we have enjoyed visiting the bearded dragons at PetSmart, and we also got an annual membership to the San Antonio Zoo, which happens to be one of the best zoos we have ever seen. 
• Also, we are now those people who get annual memberships to things.
• I can speak fluent real estate now. I listen to myself having conversations with clients sometimes and I think, "What in the world am I saying?" Three months ago, I couldn't imagine understanding any of this stuff, but now I'm a real estate contract manager...and it's awesome.
• We are building relationships!!!!!!! (This deserves many exclamation marks, as any of you who have moved to a new land will understand.) Our local church is becoming more and more dear to us, and we've finally found some friends who share our sense of humor, which is muy importante.
• Also, I have become fluent in Spanish.
• That was a joke.
• I have become convinced that we bring rain everywhere we go. Our wedding, our honeymoon, our anniversary trip, SAN ANTONIO...This place hasn't seen this much rain in years. We feel right at home, but everyone else is freaking out a bit.
• We got a new mattress. Life-changing.
• My sister and her husband are coming to visit us this weekend, and we couldn't be more excited! We're going to take them to do lots of non-touristy things, and it's going to be brilliant.
• Lastly, SOMEBODY'S birthday is coming up...I've got some special things planned for my man's birthday. Stay tuned for the reveal on that in a couple of weeks!

and that's all I got for the moment. we love all of you dear friends! let's FaceTime?
xo,
S

the honeymoon season.

We have some sweet friends who recently got married, and watching them approach their wedding day and enter their first few weeks as a married couple reminded me of that precious time in my life.

There's so much anticipation as you prepare to enter into what you can't really even fathom--complete unity with another person. You think you know what that will be like as you walk down the aisle, but how can you really know? This person you're marrying is a unique individual, with completely unique desires and triggers and temperament from anyone you've ever known. No amount of premarital counseling can really prepare you for the joys and the challenges of being married to this person, or of them being married to you. 

I distinctly remember some "advice" given to us by a few couples who had been married for quite some time. I think perhaps they were kindly trying to get us to lower our expectations of marriage so we wouldn't be disappointed. Either that, or they were not-so-subtly venting about their own marital unhappiness. It would usually go something like this, followed by a laugh: "Oh, it feels great now, but those feelings will pass." "He did that nice thing for you? It's because you guys are newly married. Wait a few years." "Oh, you're in the honeymoon season."

The honeymoon season. 

At first, these words would terrify me. Then, they started to tick me off. Deep down, I knew that a lifetime of drudgery wasn't God's intention for marriage.

Travis and I decided that others' stories did not have to be ours. We could choose what we wanted our marriage to look like. We had the power to decide just how long that honeymoon season would last. In our opinion, it didn't have to end. Why? Because somehow we knew the state of our marriage would be dependent on our behavior, not our feelings.

Now, I've only been at this for three years, so I am by no means an expert. But I do want to speak to the truth of what we realized at the beginning: marriage is intentional. And in a way, those folks were right: you can't just put the thing on auto-pilot during the honeymoon and expect those feelings to continue. Normalcy will set in. Routines will be established, and romance will be long forgotten--if you let it.

And I'll admit, we do let it be forgotten from time to time. But when we realize it, we talk about it and recalibrate to get our marriage back to where we want it to be: a healthy, life-giving catalyst for us to passionately pursue each other.

I'm not saying we're doing candlelight dinners every night. Who's got time for that, really? But we do have a date night every week. And we have to consistently evaluate how well we speak each other's love languages, which of course are completely opposite from one another--because God has a sense of humor like that. For instance, any time Trav kisses me for no apparent reason, I'm all:

It's a fail-safe--I will be floating for the rest of the day.

But Trav's language is completely different. Give him a clean house, and he'll have a constant smile on his face, knowing for certain he is loved. Do I like to clean the house?

Please.

But I want to be proactive in loving my husband. I want to become an expert in speaking Trav's love language, and he strives to do the same. We have committed to pursuing each other to the end, not just letting the car coast down the highway.

Have you ever noticed when your wheels are out of alignment? If you let go of the wheel while moving forward, your car will turn itself to the right or the left. It can be a minimal shift, but if you let the car continue in the direction it naturally wants to go, you'll end up in another town...or a ditch.

Because of that pesky human nature we all have, none of us should be coasting. Chances are, our wheels are out of alignment somewhere. It's the same with marriages. If you are not intentionally directing it where you both want to go, you'll end up somewhere you never wanted to be.

Drive your car. Don't assume you're going to go the way of everyone else. Don't assume that, because your intentions are good, your marriage will turn out great. It takes work, communication, and above all, intentionality.

But don't take other people's bad advice either. Yes, the feelings may fade for a while, but that doesn't mean they're gone for good. And it certainly doesn't mean you can't serve and love each other into another great season, even more passionate than the honeymoon.

And while that passion comes and goes, the depth of love, understanding and intimacy that grows underneath it is worth every bit of effort you could ever give. I've already experienced it, and I fully expect to keep experiencing it for the next 50 years or so. 

Go, love your spouse. Have the conversations you need to have. Pursue this great gift together. Let God infuse your marriage with wisdom, understanding, and an extra measure of grace. These are the marriages that will change the world. These are the marriages that change us - the way God intended.

I did what?

I had a moment walking through my grocery store tonight. I have these moments from time to time. All of a sudden, I'll stop and think, "Where am I? Oh yeah, Texas. We moved to Texas...we did WHAT?!? Who am I??"

Six months later, I still have moments of disbelief that we actually did this thing, moving across country. For those of you who know me well, this is pretty crazy. But here we are, over a thousand miles from anything familiar, and it's...good.

Tonight, after that brief almost-panic moment, I considered what it took to get us here. If you've ever considered moving across country, I should tell you now: it is probably the most expensive thing you will ever do. Not just financially, although that is a doozy. Picking up and moving your life to a new place carries a heavy emotional cost. You leave your comfort zone in every sense of the term. You give up, in a way, the relationships that have taken years to grow and that you've come to rely on as a source of life and joy. You whittle everything in your life down to the very basics. In our situation, the basics became me, Travis, and God. That's about it.

That's a very, very difficult thing. It has not been an easy road. But anytime we've dealt with the lows of the journey, we remind ourselves of another cost...the cost of not doing this.

When we considered a move, the main selling point (at least, for me) was the idea that, if we didn't go, one day I'd be looking back on my life and wondering, "What if? What if we had had enough courage to experience a life-changing adventure?"

The cost of that thought, later in life, was too expensive for us. We didn't want to reach the end of our lives, wondering what we missed by not stepping out in faith. That was enough to propel us into the unknown.

And the grace that has met us at every step...oh, the grace. Turns out our circle of friends that we left behind is still very much a part of our lives. For some reason, I expected that we'd be forgotten, that our place would be covered over as soon as we left. But some friendships seem to easily span 1200 miles, and thank God those friends are ours. (Side note: care packages are FUN!)

In moving, we found out there are some great people everywhere. We made friends, and realized that people had been praying for us to come before they even knew our names. We have spaces to fill here, Sarah-and-Travis-sized spaces that only God could have designed. It's been kind of crazy, in all the best ways.

And those people, whom six months ago I couldn't imagine, have filled spots in our lives that we prayed for. I can't imagine my life without these folks now, nor do I want to. So many surprises this side of the Mississippi.

So, when I stop and think, "What did I DO?!?", and the feeling of missing our Charleston community passes, the next thought that comes is one of quiet confidence:

"Exactly the right thing."

all the things.

I know, I know, it's been a long time.

A lot has happened since Christmas Eve, and I have no hopes of fully catching you up on everything, but here's a few major highlights:

1. I have a new job.
At the end of January, I was hired by a really successful real estate team here in San Antonio to manage their database, help out with their radio show, and do some creative marketing. Did I know anything about real estate? Nope. But they were willing to train me. In the last six weeks, my brain has probably been expanded by about 20%. SO.MUCH.INFORMATION. But I really love it! My goal in finding a job was just to get out of Starbucks and into a schedule that would allow me a full night's sleep. The idea of being hired by the best in the business to do things I actually like while learning a new trade? Never entered my mind. That's my God, showing off.

2. We love our church.
I didn't believe it was possible to find another church that we would love as much as Seacoast, but...well, here we are. We are Compass people. The congregation is solid and growing, the worship team is getting tighter each week, and the student ministry is being blessed by a certain handsome husband of mine. We're also part of an up-and-coming young couples group, which means we finally get to host some cookouts and game nights. High fives all around.

3. This book.

Y'all. This book has wrecked me in every good possible way. I've been an emotional mess all week, staring all dove-eyed at Travis and feeling honeymoon-ey. I think I'm about to drive that man crazy. It's just one of the best pictures of marriage I have ever read. And more than that, it's given me a picture of how passionately God loves me...there just really aren't words to describe all the things in my heart. Let's just say, God has done a major work in my heart this week, through very unexpected means.

4. Our anniversary.
We're into our fourth year already? Seriously? How did this happen? Wasn't it just yesterday we were in a big, beautiful room with a group of 200 people who will never be in the same room together again, celebrating and listening to the typhoon weather outside?
Trav and I celebrated our anniversary in a truly lovely little town nearby called Fredericksburg, Texas. It was a restful weekend, mostly because it was 30 degrees and raining outside, but it was just what we needed. This year, we've grown as individuals and as a couple. We've become stronger, and yet more dependent--on each other, but mostly on God--in all good ways. Here's to year four bringing more of that goodness.

5. The cat.
Mr. Bingley got a new feather toy from Aunt Amy over Christmas, and he is crazy about it. That, combined with a new laser toy, is helping him lose some weight. His exercise/play time hits around 9pm every night--that's when he starts meowing for his toys (seriously). Hoping to shave about two pounds off that boy. Apparently 16lbs is a healthy weight for this cat! He's such a handsome fat boy.

So, there you have it--the basics. The Thunderbird is still rolling, thank God, and we're just happy to be alive and well and living this adventure. Hopefully I'll get back to writing more consistently, but until then...
Much love to you all,
S